Who Wants to Marry Eat24: Office Lunch Rebound Edition

While you might think of Eat24 as an online food ordering service, we also like to think of ourselves as Food Therapists. We have so much experience with the healing properties of burritos, double cheeseburgers, and chicken fried steak (organic, of course), we’ve petitioned our alma mater to change our degree in Awesome to a Master’s in Food Therapy with a minor in Sexy.

Healing in action
“I’m writing you a prescription for this giant cheeseburger.”

Degree or no degree, we recently brought our healing skills to the branding gurus at Hub Strategy. Hub Strategy and Eat24 go way back. Like, we’ve been homies with Hub Strategy since 2nd grade, back when mom dressed us in Dalmatian-covered stretch pants (thanks, mom!) and that mean kid down the street told everyone we picked our nose (You saw nothing, Trent!)

We hadn’t seen them in awhile but heard they were going through a nasty divorce with a catering company. Things had apparently gone downhill, like ramen lunches everyday downhill. We knew it was our duty to help, so we showed up (wearing camouflage and a fedora so they wouldn’t recognize us) and began a little experiment. Because we’re an app of science, we used this scientific thing called the Scientific Method. Obviously.

Scientists still marvel at the healing properties of chicken wings.
Among other things, the scientific method has proven that chicken wings increase efficiency and improve office morale.

Step 1: Ask A Question

Can we help Hub Strategy pick up the pieces and make lunch awesome again?

Step 2: Do Background Research

We arrived at the Hub Strategy office at 11:30 AM to begin observation. The first thing we noticed was the extreme microwaving. While we’re not pointing fingers at anyone in particular, least of all the people in Accounts Payable (coughNicolecough), the number of chicken pot pie glaciers melting in the break room was alarming to say the least.

Stop throwing Marie Calendars meals in the ocean
Recently uncovered eyewitness accounts claim a frozen meal was responsible for sinking the Titanic, not an iceberg as previously believed.

We’d seen enough. We took off the camouflage and fedora to reveal ourselves. Hub Strategy shrieked and was all like, “OMG! We didn’t want you to see us like this!” and we were all, “WTF dude, get it together,” and then they were all “Buuuut we’re super busy boiling down the brand essence of aspirin so we can capture the market share of 22-45 year old men with PhDs in Finance.” And we were like, “Yeah, the ROI of building your own burrito just doesn’t add up. Don’t worry. Tomorrow, lunch is on us.”

Step 3: Construct a Hypothesis

We can use our new Shared Cart feature to make lunch tastier and more efficient.

Step 4: Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment

We showed up the next day and told Hub Strategy it was time to order lunch. Because #Science requires careful observation followed by intense analysis, we took mad notes of everything that transpired.

11:28 AM: Hugh gets things started by immediately selecting a Moroccan Chicken Bowl. He notes (unprompted) that he crowd-sourced the menu the night before and felt confident that this was the direction lunch needed to go to remain relevant.

11:30 AM: The rest of the office begins making their selections.

11:32 AM: Hugh sends a company-wide email demanding everyone stop screwing around and choose a lunch. This wasn’t a bill by the hour client, time was of the essence.

Competition is healthy, but Eat24 does not endorse the practice of forcing workers to race to "see if they're really hungry".
Competition is healthy, but Eat24 does not endorse the practice of forcing workers to run a race to “see if they’re really hungry”.

11:33: In less than a minute after the plea for speed, all but one member of the team selects their meal.

11:33 – 11:41 Straggler Pete debates between a Turkey Meatball sub and a Red Thai Tofu Curry.

11:42:  Annoyed at Pete’s intense deliberation, Caitlin hits the Hangry button repeatedly. Calm down, Caitlin, you only have to hit it once!

Hangry Button
The Hangry Button. Tell Pete to make up his @%&*#$! mind. With dignity.

11:43: Pete closes his eyes and clicks. With all the orders submitted, the Eat24 gnomes began doing what they do best: making food happen.

11:49: A small riot breaks out when a group of hangry workers holding ball point pens and staplers bang on Hugh’s door, demanding an update. Hugh points out that it’s only been 6 minutes.

11:54: Hugh contacts Eat24 customer support when Jillian incites a riot, bemoaning that they didn’t spend their whole weekend brainstorming ways to make linolium tiles sexy to wind up lunchless.

11:55: Hugh receives word that the order has left the restaurant and should be there in less than 10 minutes.

Fluffy remix of an office rebellion
Fluffy remix of an office rebellion

12:00: Relived, Hugh calms the masses with tales of the deliciousness to come and promises of a brighter lunch future.

12:09: The gnomes arrive with Hub Strategy’s food, pants are removed (No photos available. You’re welcome, trust us), and peace reigns once again.


Step 5: Analyze Your Data
Based on the the Standard Food Satisfaction (SFS) formula of S=G^3 x S x J – H, Hub Strategy scored a satisfaction score of 786. In layman’s terms, lunch was awesome and they’ve vowed to never let lunch be disappointing again.
Step 6: Conclusion

Eat24 loves you and will never leave you to spend your lunch break browsing microwavable sandwiches at the gas station.

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