A Breakup Letter to Facebook from Eat24

Dear Facebook,

Hey. It’s Eat24. Look, we need to talk. This isn’t easy to say since we’ve been together so long, but we need to break up.  We’d love to say “It’s not you, it’s us” but it’s totally you. Not to be rude, but you aren’t the smart, funny social network we fell in love with several years back. You’ve changed. A lot.

When we first met, you made us feel special. We’d tell you a super funny joke about Sriracha and you’d tell all our friends and then everyone would laugh together. But now? Now you want us to give you money if we want to talk to our friends. Now when we show you a photo of a taco wrapped with bacon, you’re all like “PROMOTE THIS POST! GET MORE FRIENDS!” instead of just liking us for who we are. That’s hella messed up.

Don’t mess with us when we’re hangry.

To be honest, lots of our friends warned us about you (not to name names but to definitely name names: Forbes, Fast Company, Wall Street Journal). But we ignored them and trusted you because we loved you. Now we find ourselves questioning our entire relationship.

So we Googled you (nothing too creepy, just some light research) and found out you’re doing this because of a new algorithm that decides what people want to see in their news feeds. If that’s true, that means your algorithm is saying most of our friends don’t care about sushi porn, that they aren’t interested in hearing our deepest thoughts about pizza toppings. Are you listening to yourself? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You know that all those people clicked ‘Like’ on our page because it’s full of provocatively posed burritos and cheese puns, right?

Are we making you horngry, baby? (Image credit and best name ever goes to:Chica Chocolatina)

But we loved you, Facebook, so we tried to understand you and your algorithm. As far as we could tell though, it involves the words ‘affinity’ and ‘time decay.’ There also might be a Greek letter in there somewhere but we’re not sure cuz we got bored and ordered a panini. Look Facebook, all we’re saying is that we wanted to share a joke about chicken wings, not ponder astrophysics.


Truth be told, your actions make us feel like you don’t respect us. Maybe you think our food-related pick-up lines and sexy tater tots memes come out of nowhere, but we spend a lot of time trying to make people happy. Seriously, we dedicate at least an hour a day to finding a word that rhymes with Havarti because we want to write the first-ever cheese Sonnet.

All we do is give, and all you do is take. We give you text posts, delicious food photos, coupons, restaurant recommendations… and what do you do in return? You take them and you hide them from all our friends. Maybe you steal our random musings about pork buns and claim them as your own. Guess we’ll never know.

Let’s be honest, the only formula we’ve ever cared about is Pie.

Even if we could figure out your mysterious, all-knowing algorithm, it’s constantly changing, so what works today might not work tomorrow. Posting something that most of our friends see is like biting into a burrito and actually getting all seven layers…never gonna happen. The point is, you’re wasting our time and cock-blocking food porn from our friends. Not cool, Facebook, not cool.

But the bigger picture issue is that we can’t trust you. You lied to us and said you were a social network but you’re totally not a social network. At least not anymore. When we log in to Facebook, we want to see what Aunt Judy is doing next weekend (hopefully baking us cupcakes) and read hilarious headlines from The Onion and see pictures of a cat who got his head stuck in the couch cushions. Instead, we get this:

Go away. For reals.

It makes us think all you care about is money. Why should we have to wade through a dozen promoted posts about how to lose belly fat (are you trying to tell us something?) and requests for Candy Crush (NO! Just no.) and suggesting we like our arch nemesis’ page (seriously, WTF) before we can finally find the perfect Doge meme, It really seems like you’ve lost your way and have become nothing more than an ad platform.

Yeah, you’re right. We made mistakes too. We actually paid for some of those annoying promoted posts. You were all like, “Dude, you gotta try out promoted posts, It’ll help you make more friends and then more people can enjoy your LOLZ.” So we tried it because we loved you. Also, YOLO.

According to Facebook, we are cool and hip.

And it’s true, we got a ton of new likes on our page. Look at all these new friends, we thought. There’s a guy in Houston, and this guy in… Bangladesh? And this girl in… Dubai? WTF Facebook!? When we said “we want to take over the world with taquitos” it was mostly a metaphor (also it was 4:20 at the time). Well, we really do want to feed the whole world one day, but right now we’re only in the U.S., so even though we love our new international friends, we’d prefer not to piss them off by showing them a photo of a delicious calzone that they can’t even order. Why did you think we wanted friends we can’t actually feed? That makes about as much sense as getting a pepperoni pizza and only one slice has pepperoni on it.

Food analogies are the only thing that makes sense to us.

And don’t you dare play mind games and say we’re being crazy. We aren’t the only ones who feel this way. Check out this little video the fine folks at Veritasium made that puts a bit more insight into these “likes.”

Honestly, we’re kinda hurt that you’ve changed so much. We hardly recognize you with all the facelifts you had. Take a look back. You’ve changed your look more times than Madonna. Seriously. It’s not that we don’t like change, it’s just super annoying that you decide to increase banner dimensions by 5 pixels for no reason.

Real talk, if we had to choose between making 142 different size banners to conform to whatever you’re feeling that particular week, or lie on the couch and think about fried sushi rolls, we’re always going with sushi. Just saying, but maybe you could take a lesson from this amazing webpage for the Space Jam movie. The website hasn’t changed since 1996 and it’s AMAZING.

Best. Website. Ever.

What? You don’t like being compared to an older, more distinguished website? Fine. Let’s talk about your peers. Not to hit below the belt, but we have a lot more fun when we hang out with Twitter and Instagram. They don’t have weird algorithms, which means all of our besties get to see everything we post. You might have noticed that when Ellen decided to take a selfie of beautiful people being beautiful, she did it on Twitter. And she got so many RTs, she broke it. The whole site went down. When was the last time you got that much action?


So that’s it. We’re done. All you’re left with are some single-serve freezer meals. Us? We can eat a whole pizza by ourselves so we aren’t even worried about that. We’ll pack our things and be gone by 11:59pm on Monday night. Yes, you read that right. Eat24, the company that is always telling customers to Like our page, post on our wall, and ask us for coupons on Facebook… is deleting its Facebook. This is real.

Will anyone miss it? Will anyone even know it’s gone?

Confession: Darth Vader is our father.

Who knows what’ll happen between now and Monday. Maybe so many of our friends will write on our wall to say goodbye that your API will break. Ok, we don’t actually know what an API is or if it can break but something might crash or have an error or make the mouse do that pinwheel thing. So have a nice life and good luck playing Words With Friends alone.

P.S. If you are reading this and your name isn’t Facebook, and you are in fact one of our beautiful hungry customers – WE STILL LOVE YOU and we’re giving you a chance to say goodbye. Any last words? Since we’re deleting the whole thing on Monday at 11:59 PM, you can say pretty much whatever you want. Confess your love of brussel sprouts, admit that you still suck your thumb, reveal your celebrity crush. We’ll never tell. Say goodbye to Eat24’s Facebook.

P.P.S.S. If you are reading this and you’re hungry, luckily our app isn’t powered by social media or even blogs. We’d love to help you make food happen. Get the Eat24 app and summon egg rolls to your couch.

P.P.P.S.S.S. Want to know what happened since we closed our Facebook page? Find out. (Spoiler Alert: Nothing).

(Visited 88,662 time, 1 visit today)

157 thoughts on “A Breakup Letter to Facebook from Eat24”

  1. haaahhaaa!!! I love this! I have a small business page and i’m considering just using IG and Twitter!

  2. This is what it’s like to order from Eat 24 on a typical Wednesday night. Their app let me order (and charged my card) from a restaurant that was actually closed for the evening. I gave up on the perpetual hold at their customer service number so I tried the live chat that they promote on their app. Here is the response I got followed by crickets…

    “Hi James, chat support is more slammed than usual. Please excuse our s..l..o..w response.. Be with you soon! And thanks for understanding. You rock:)”

    I don’t rock. Actually I’m pissed. I ordered before putting my two small children to bed only to find out that my food was NEVER coming. eat me eat24.

  3. Not sure if trolling or badly written post scriptum…. (it should be P.S., P.P.S., P.P.P.S…..no more S)

  4. Funny! I didn’t know food could be used to describe a FB breakup. I agree FB just wants money from their ads and don’t care that you want to make your friends happy. Come on over to Google Plus – I like your writing style!

  5. That’s BS!! We know it’s a pain to deal with this kind of stuff, but we want to make sure it never happens to you again, so if you can, drop us a line at media@eat24.com so we can kick butt and take names until we make things right for you.

  6. Being pissed, it makes two of us, and perhaps we are not the
    only. My one and only experience with eat24, has been very negative. My credit
    card it was charged by eat24, and the restaurant. I was lucky, I guess, to talk
    to their customer service and they assured me of a reimbursement that never
    happened. I contacted the service for a second time via email, once telephone
    operations were out of reach, but I’ve never gotten a response back. Not even a
    courtesy email.

  7. Hi Dean, that’s definitely not what we like to hear. We’d love to do anything we can to make things right. Please drop us a line at media@eat24.com if you have the time, so we can look into this for you, or if you prefer, you can leave your order # right here in the comments and we’ll take it from there. Thanks!

  8. Judging from your response to Mr. Lewis, “BS and kick butt.” I am sorry, but in my book that’s not what I would call a professional response. I pay twice for a pizza, and that is all. eat24 to me it is out24. Never again.

  9. You’re absolutely right! It just makes us really upset when a restaurant issue leaves you hungry, but that’s no excuse for us to talk like that. We’d still love to look into the issue you experienced and do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

  10. Good for you! I had my 1st bad experience with the restaurant that I use Eat24 for. There is only one restaurant that is registered with them, but I don’t like confrontation and Eat24 did it for me. It looks like Eat24 is good at getting what they want or showing how to shut them down.

  11. After waiting two hours and never receiving my food….I’d say whatever your problems are are pretty much all you. I get better service w/FB everyday than I did with you with one time of trying to order food via your service. Better double check your business relationships.

  12. I have been a costumer of Eat24 for years and have had good and bad experiences but more good ones. Today I place an order on a new restaurant I did not see before and food was expensive, but I wanted to try, so I placed my order they said 45 min. To an hour, but it took two hours, unbelievable it was close to my home and on top of that it was just warm not hot when they brought it. So , I was upset and contacted eat24. I Talk to someone very nice who help me until he g

  13. Yikes, that’s not what we like to hear at all. If you have some time, we’d love it if you dropped a line to media@eat24.com so we can get to the bottom of this for you.

  14. How do we know that these people complaining about EAt24 are not paid to give negative reviews and detract from the topic at hand?

  15. I guess we’ll never know? Either way, we’d really love to help them out and make things right 🙂

  16. Yeah I’m sure you left facebook because of their business practices and not because it’s an easy way to dodge people’s bitter comments about your shitty service.


  17. Our biggest regret about leaving facebook is the loss of one of our communication channels with our customers. But luckily we can still continue that here in the blog comments and elsewhere like Twitter @EAT24 and on email at media@eat24.com. We know it can be a pain to deal with customer service, but if you experienced an issue, we would love to get to the bottom of it for you on live chat at eat24.com/support. Also spice has expired but you can use coupon code ‘couch’ to save, and when that one expires all you need to do is ask us for another one 🙂

  18. I think that we should not blame eat24 for everything, if we did not get our food deliver, or if it took two hours to get there, or if you did not get a refund which the restaurant agreed to give you. We have to remember it was the restaurat’s responsibility not eat24. Eat24 is just like a bridge service between you and the restaurants. They do have a duty too to make sure you get the food but does not have the total blame for the outcome. We should be thankful we have this service, it saves us the trip to go to the restaurant, and we can eat in thecomfort of our home. Besides if you have a bad experience with one restaurant, try another they have many on their directory. Ok, I am not being pay by eat24 or by nobody, to say this but I am just saying let’s give them a chance to serve us, beside we all make mistakes. God bless you

  19. The site is designed well but technically sucks. I’ve had so many problems with the site. I’ve had to make the order 3 times because it would close itself out after clicking “Submit Order”.
    Then the prices showed up differently when checking out, and then correctly on the receipt??

    I contacted tech support when the site removed all our orders and we got responses like “Dude that sucks” and “Whoa, totally awesome” said at inappropriate points in the conversation and overall not very helpful.

  20. Hi Patricia, thanks for your kind words. We don’t want to push the blame on anybody, we just want to make sure everybody gets fed 🙂 Whenever an issue comes up, we always got your back!

  21. Hey John, thanks for letting us know about this. That’s definitely not the way we want you to be treated, and if you send an email with more info to media@eat24.com we’d love to get to the bottom of this for you and make things right.

  22. We love eat24! Have never had a bad experience. Especially since you deliver food from restaurants that don’t. That saves us from going out. So, thanks.

  23. Eat24 no longer has a facebook page so as to not have to deal with public acknowledgement of their deteriorating customer service. I have been using them every week for 2 years to order food for my office- every time a significant amount of food. In the recent months, many of our former places we used to order from are “out of delivery range” and today it took a half an hour to get my order fixed and sent in- and most of that half an hour was spent waiting for the customer service representative to call me back as she said she would. She never did, but the restaurant did. When I called and asked them if they were going to do anything to keep our business, she asked me what kind of a credit I thought was appropriate. I responded with a reasonable $10-15, and she came back with “Well the system will only let me enter $5” and LAUGHED at me. Straight up laughed at me. And that was that. $5 and a mocking tone/laughter after 2 years of business like ours? Really disappointing, Eat24. I expected much better from you.

  24. Hi Tatiana, thanks for letting us know about this. The one thing we really miss after leaving Facebook is the loss of one of our communication channels with our customers. But luckily we still have Twitter and the comment section on this blog. We know it can be a pain to deal with customer service, but we would love to get to the bottom of this for you if you could drop us a line at media@eat24.com.

  25. Cool publicity stunt – I find it quite hilarious that the only people complaining about facebook’s algorithms is marketers… not users. the fact is, your customers are still there… you just needed to shape up or ship out – looks like you took the latter course – creating a huge gaping hole for your smart competitor (the new you) to fill… good luck.

  26. Thank you so much Eat24… You feed our family at least once a week!!! Keep up the good work, and I will keep using and promoting for you!!!! Happy New Year…

  27. Aww shucks.

    Well I told Charles in customer service that whoever wrote this should get a raise. So I’m sure he is totally working on that now haha

  28. Not only does FB suck the ‘nana, try ordering something on an iPad (planned obsolescence). Hate ’em both.

  29. Ouch! Did you have an issue with our iPad app? We’d love to help. Drop us a line at media@eat24.com so we can kick butt and take names until we make things right for you.

  30. I personally stopped using “my life is better than yours but in order to know that you will have to deal with banner ads” a.k.a Facebook about a year ago. It no longer provided the organic interaction with my friends, families and businesses that I prefer. EAT24 thanks for using your corporate voice to say what most of us have experienced and known. Years ago we were lied to about cable TV, that you pay the premium over regular TV and one major benefit is you won’t have to see ads, but that was when M-TV also was a channel that showed music videos:-) If only everyone kept it real!

  31. “When we said “we want to take over the world with taquitos” it was mostly a metaphor (also it was 4:20 at the time).” Algorithms are written by people, so why not figure that “world” = geo and “take over the world” = ambition. Solid writeup and super funny. (posted with FB oauth)

  32. Eat24 please come to our social site http://www.tmup.co We would love to have you there and all of your fans! We have a whole new set of rules which means your fan following will receive 100% that is is right 100% of your updates! We don’t sell anyone’s private information. What we have is permission marketing and passion marketing. here is a link to our info site http://info.tmup.co/ I hope to see you there. Also, if you have any suggestions, comments or just want to send me a funny joke my email is donna@teamup.fi We like funny jokes in Finland too! <3 Donna

  33. Awesome. Well put, except one thing, EAT 24’s Facebook page is back up! WTF, yep seems they just could not stay away.

  34. Glad you enjoyed! And yeah, we see the irony, but we didn’t want to prevent users from commenting just because we had a little spat with FB 🙂

  35. This is a lot of heresay, conjecture, and misinformation taken out of context. I own a marketing company, and do this for a living. I PROMISE you, that Facebook is not out to screw any business over, nor force them to pay. Sure, you CAN be more effective on Facebook by paying for ads. But that’s not because your reach is declining.

    Your reach is declining because people aren’t interacting with the page, and you’re probably not posting new and creative things often…and probably not posting videos (which are HUGE). The less and less your posts get interaction, then less and less you’ll be visible in News Feeds…THEN you will have to pay to be seen since the posts are not considered “high quality.”

    These days, through the use of custom audiences and lookalike audiences, and video preferences, you absolutely can reach people pretty cost-effectively. You don’t have to spend millions or even thousands. Actually, in most cases, when you do it right and have at least even a modest email list (which Eat 24 surely does), you can event spend very little money. You have a choice to keep exploring ways to create great content that people will interact with…or just do better advertising and targeting on Facebook. I haven’t even mention Facebook re-targeting ads, which are another massive way to drive repeat traffic and business.

    Like I said, I own a marketing company, so this is what I do for a living and have been doing it for decades (years on Facebook). I have pages which NEVER place ads, but reach thousands of people via their posts. How? Because we are making creative posts and have an engaged following. That last part is key. When we make posts to pages which aren’t as engaging we notice the reach is less. When you have rabid fans, AND post great content, then you’ll see your reach not effected.

    Don’t get swayed by the misinformation out there and quotes taken out of context. Facebook marketing DOES work, but if you don’t want to put in the effort creatively and otherwise, then just buy cheap ads, do great marketing, and get the traffic that way.

  36. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with us 🙂 We really do hope to reconcile with Facebook one day, but until then, everyone reading this… if you want your Facebook page to kick ass, LuTang is your guy!

  37. Very interesting counter-point you make. Filled with many refuting facts. If you don’t want to believe me and my experience (I do this for a living, so I know), then ask others who do this for a living:

    Jon Loomer:

    Search Engine Journal:

    And if you really want to do something about it…contact Circle Marketing to help you out:

  38. LOVE LOVE LOVE This email.. Im in the exact same arena as eat24 but just at a local level. Our job and only passion is to provide content to our followers. Content of food and restaurants.. Thats it but as EAT 24 perfectly place it, its an ad network now and not a social network.. Id have to say that that the hook now for them is the social network aspect.. It should be marketed as an ad network and if we like you, you may get some free traffic from it. But do NOT count on that free traffic (organic) traffic. Its simple and I’ve done this exercise plenty times just to prove my point. Write a post and see what type of engagement you get? Write it again exactly the same later on but this time with a boost and let me know what type of result you will get.. Bottom line, you show our posts, we will get engagements. So much time and effort to please your followers and big brother Facebook decides what they want to show MY followers. I’ve gone down from 2 posts per day to 3-5 posts per week.. Whats the point of doing all the work if no one sees it.. Im right behind you eat 24.. Just need a bit more time and see you on the other side.. Good job!!

    http://www.Orlandodine.com http://www.facebook.com/orlandodine

  39. If only you put as much time and energy into customer service as you do into your blog posts.

  40. Thanks will do so!!! I also own a delivery site and not easy at all.. Cant get anyone to sign up.. LOL.. http://www.Orlandomenus.com also, developing a new app to engage restaurant owners with guests!! Would love to show if interested.. Great job!!

  41. Eat24 is a good idea in premise. However I just used them today, found good and bad things. Unfortunately the bad far outweigh the good when making use of their services. Sure the way to order is friendly and easy to understand, the various checkout methods are an added bonus and they have a lot of my favorite restaurants. The bad thing is I placed my order 2 hours ago and it still hasn’t been delivered to me……..I shall now but in a quote from Eat24….”.We’re here to help you. Enjoy your food, enjoy the time you get back in your day, and most of all, enjoy the delightful feeling of being taken care of. So whether you’re working late, in need of a one-night staycation, or just don’t feel like cooking – let us handle the food. Your only job is to enjoy every minute of it.” Where’s my enjoyment? Or rather more importantly where is the food I paid for 2 hours ago?

  42. My restaurant “broke up” with you today, thanks to another unpleasant conversation with yet another snarky, immature rep.
    I’ve never seen a business with more 1-star reviews (many who say they wish they could leave zero stars) I’m not a Facebook fan and I’m not on it any more, but let’s be real: your snarky, snotty “customer service” people lose a lot of business for you and have generated a lot of hate all over the web. Maybe you just didn’t want to have a place where more people could complain. Your staff is really too immature to handle a job. And they even say so!!

  43. Ohhhhhhhh, I see. When someone makes a comment you don’t like, you delete it. That way you can APPEAR as though everyone likes you when in actuality, like I said, you have more one-star reviews than any company I’ve ever seen. And of course your deletion absolutely proves your immaturity.

  44. This is all going on YouTube All of the screen shots of the stuff you’ve deleted. Later losers

  45. Its extremely simple, if people clicked “LIKE” on a fan-page, it means that those same people wanna see what that page is posting. The fact Facebook shows only certain things unless you pay to reach your own audience that you built with hard work, is ridiculous. I worked extremely hard to build up my fan page to over 225,000 fans… to post something and read “5,000 people reached”…. So really, while my instagram or twitter have less followers, I get more feedback from that very same post on those sites… I have fans, that ask me “man you have not posted anything new lately whats going on?”… whats going on???? I post things basically daily, whats going on, is facebook is not showing you those things.

  46. Its extremely simple, if people clicked “LIKE” on a fan-page, it means
    that those same people wanna see what that page is posting. The fact
    Facebook shows only certain things unless you pay to reach your own
    audience that you built with hard work, is ridiculous. I worked
    extremely hard to build up my fan page to over 225,000 fans… to post
    something and read “5,000 people reached”…. So really, while my
    instagram or twitter have less followers, I get more feedback from that
    very same post on those sites… I have fans, that ask me “man you have
    not posted anything new lately whats going on?”… whats going on???? I
    post things basically daily, whats going on, is facebook is not showing
    you those things…. So here I am, paying, to reach people who already signed up to see what im trying to say… nah man

  47. Hi Jill, thanks for letting us know about this. You’re absolutely right, and that’s definitely not the level of service we expect from our staff. We know you’re busy running your restaurant, but if you could email us at media@eat24.com we’d love to get to the bottom of this for you and make things right.

  48. Hi Jill, we’re seeing all of your comments here. Can you send us a screenshot of the stuff you think was deleted?

  49. That’s what happens when you let MBA types into any web-based company. They will monetize your product at tge expense of your user experience. They will put banner ads in every free pixel and ram sponsored posts down your throat. All in the name of making more money.

  50. I personally have been debating doing this very thing. I decided against it, I will tell you why. I was fine on facebook until, I decided to promote my book and open a second page. I never used it much before anyway. They revealed my birthday, I asked that it be kept private. Still I stayed. I travelled a lot, it was a good way to stay in touch with many. Without the toll charges before Tango etc.. bla bla bla.

    I am staying because of my followers who have a different experience because of me, as business owner and writer. They look forward to my posts. I owe it to them. they know not what they do online. lol! I would suggest you do the same. FB is playing itself out with their nonsense. Some people only use FB creatures of habit. You can post through twitter, never setting another finger in FB.

  51. DO it! Get familiar with iconosquare (IG`s desktop platform, designed to make marketing a breeze). FB recently cost me much more than money with their antics. I would like to believe they have overstayed their welcome in our lives and are headed the way of MySpace.

  52. We’re still on Twitter and Instagram @EAT24 and you can always get our weekly bits of love through our emails. Just sign up right on our homepage and we’ll feed your inbox.

  53. the younger generation is more on Twitter,Vine and Instagram. I’d try those. 🙂

  54. WOW. This is easily in “top 10 best articles” I’ve ever read. You have taken a shared frustration of many and expressed it in such a nail on the head, sarcastic, witty, clever, AMAZING way. Seriously outstanding writing, I mean it.

    So, I have a question for you I was SERIOUSLY hoping you could answer.. I own a small business, with a loyal customer base/ “following” in the local area. You reference twitter and Instagram as alternatives, and i agree 100% they are superior platforms for reaching your audience. BUT, what if your following/audience is like ours and is made up largely of middle aged “un-tech savvy” folks?
    What I mean is: Facebook WAS the perfect platform because almost EVERYONE has one.. But with our base that’s about as far as they go with their interaction through social media platforms. Is there a way to realistically introduce this demographic to “get on board” another social media platform?
    or Am i wrong in assuming the proposition of “you will be able to effectively and organically engage with us via social media!” is not going to get many to leave the comfort of facebook (an account that was no doubt set up for them by a younger relative).

    ANY help or input is SINCERELY AND GREATLY APPRECIATED. Thank you so much.
    – Bryan from Milford Firearms LLC

  55. Horrible service 90-150 minute wait times in Fremont CA and the order was all wrong! They don’t even advertise how long you will wait for delivery until after you have paid. The food was totally not worth the money either at El Patio. I paid $40 for one large souo that came in a small container and a wet burrito that came completely dry and ni cheese. Will never eat there or use this service again!

  56. I totally love you guys!! I recently broke up with FakeBook personally myself. Ive turn to more glorious and inventive content to fill my trolling hours (such laughing to my socks as I read your website). I have a confession to make while we’re on the subject of break ups…

    First I have to thank you so much for being there in person, a real human (on the phone). You held my hand and shushed me with sweet cherry filled nothings when the delivery driver couldn’t find my house recently. You have no idea how amazing your decadent your filling is but lemme tell you Baby you got the stuff!

    Still I have a confession. I’m so sad and so sorry! I cheated on you.

    Yes, yes how could I is right! But heres what happened- I recently experimented with a certain other order HUB…Ahem! I know! I’m sorry! Shame on me! I’m paying for it now though my sweet and delectible delivery friends!

    What can I say? Will you accept that excuse that the childish cutouts and similarities in interface pulled the wool and duped me, like a pig in a blanket? I hope not. You loved me! After my bad trip through a curry driven nightmare of bad coconut milk and spoiled veggies I promised myself I would tell you… and now that I have I have to thank you for taking me back!

    I didnt realize that you really dont miss the ice cream dream until its gone. I took for granted just how much I love your apple fresh professional manner, your vanilla creamy smooth and silky communication skills, and I neglected to note how much I dig your hot dogged dedication to your clients!

    Simply put I was a fool and YOU Rock my socks like Aunties Ribs on Super Bowl Sunday!

    With the other guy I found-
    A helpdesk whek needs 72 hoirs to answer me! Yup :-l,
    Way more expensive menu items,
    3 hours wait to get my food when I ordered at 1pm
    AND an $86 authorization breakup nightmare that I am STILL involved in!

    Such a fool I was

    All that has driven me custard crazy for YOU and sent me swooning like swizzle now that I’m finally back in the warm chocolate drizzled, baconlike tasty goodness of your loving arms.

    I’m so so sorry. I’ll never stray again as long as I eat!


  57. Hey Scoobydoo3008. It’s always OK to experiment around, but just know who bring home the bacon. We welcome you back with open arms and cheese sticks.

  58. I just signed on to FB to find your page and read your message. While my experiences using Eat24 (only two times) haven’t been the greatest, Eat24 has gone over and above the call of duty to correct issues. Mostly, as a (former) professional writer, I want to congratulate whomever wrote the letter (and the humorous blurbs on your site), because I find them heartwarming — they even make you smile when you’re a little “less-than-satisfied” at the moment. This piece was priceless …. definitely my style of writing!!

  59. I would just like to say that cool, and no matter what, Eat24 you guys taste sooooo good.

  60. not sure what happened but found you today thru facebook via yelp – damn glad I did! You introduced me to my new favorite restaurant and gave me some serious laughs along the way. Fan now no matter how I get to you!!

  61. You may complain about Facebook… But we have a complaint with YOU! We places our order, gave you payment (plus tip!), went to the restaurant…and discovered not only had you not places the order, you don’t represent them! You’ve got their menu, address, and phone alright…you just don’t place orders with them or give them out money. So, now I’m waiting on an order I’ve paid for twice. Our advice: if you are hungry (and thrifty)…order with the restaurant! Cause it doesn’t take a logarithm to guess blog.eat24 IS A CROOK!

  62. The restaurant most likely uses a 3rd party delivery service who we deal with directly. The delivery service lets us know all the info, and they place the orders with the restaurant. We never want you to be hungry though, so go ahead and shoot an email to support@eat24:disqus .com and we’ll help straighten things out.

  63. Hey Clifton,
    We never like to hear when someone is upset, and be no mean would we ever try to cheat a restaurant or customer. Please email support@eat24.com and we’ll get one of our representatives to look into this issue and make things right.

  64. When you type in
    The page is still up, though the most recent post is from march 2014, you might want to delete that page if you really want to disappear from Facebook. But then again if you delete that page and decide to come back to Facebook in the future, apparently you’ll lose that username forever! So… Wow, tough one init?

  65. But in all seriousness, the more I try to disappear from Facebook the harder it seems to actually stay gone because anyone can google my name and there will still be facebook posts from long long ago with my name on them coz Google takes such a long long time to actually update itself!

  66. Also I live in Downtown Denver and there’s no fucking reason why I need to pay $5 delivery fee to get donuts delivered to me when the donut place is a few streets down from me? I’d walk there myself but I’m visually impaired. Is there anyway you can set the delivery fee to free delivery, or is it soly the restaurant who decides the fees?

  67. Great question, Matthew. Since we don’t employ any drivers we can’t make any fees, our service is completely free to use, however; we do have to honor all delivery fees that the restaurant sets.

  68. Facebook = Fakebook. Now instead of a social website for freely sharing opinions and comments, it’s a socialist website where people who post things that offend liberals (like expressing patriotism get booted or the white screen, and no companies or corporations are allowed to have a website unless they pay , and conform to FB’s socialist standards.

  69. Why do you still have FB to sign in??? I wasted over 5 minutes, I’m so hungry I can eat a mouse! Please remove it. Now my lunch is going to be here late…. ; (

  70. What a bunch of parasites Zuckerberg and friends have revealed themselves to be. Fuck facebook.

  71. A lot of posts aren’t in English either so probably is an imposter

  72. <3 you guys. Have been using you for years – first for team lunches at work (your group orders are so handy.. no more complaints about what we are eating) and lately because some days I can't be bothered cooking at home. While there have been the occasional glitches your people are awesome and always help me figure it out. Keep being awesome.


    (1) If you want your Divorced Husband/Wife back.
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    (19) Stop your Marriage or Relationship from Breaking Apart.
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    THIS IS MY EMAIL ONCE AGAIN (aloraitalianspell@gmail.com)

  74. What are you talking about? They have greeeaaat customer service. I can attest to that.

  75. I heart this so much, i am in th amidst of breaking off my relationship w/ FB – the law of diminishing returns (i.e. seeing my friends’ posts), now all i see are ads and people i don’t even know (despite that they are not being followed or even “acquaintanced,” turn off notifications — i STILL GET THEM from someone named X (you know who you are) who never stops posting bullsh*t, all day long… but my friends? do i ever get to see them??? NNoooooo, resoundingly No. SO FB, you can FO. 🙂 cheers, i loved reading this Eat24.

  76. Create a group that links to the page… Facebook users can than create notifications for your group and be notified whenever a new message is posted. 🙂

  77. When we first met, you made us feel special. We’d tell you a super funny joke about Sriracha and you’d tell all our friends and then everyone would laugh together. But now? Now you want us to give you money if we want to talk to our friends. Now when we show you a photo of a taco wrapped with bacon, you’re all like “PROMOTE THIS POST! GET MORE FRIENDS!” instead of just liking us for who we are. That’s hella messed up.

  78. Are you listening to yourself? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You know that all those people clicked ‘Like’ on our page because it’s full of provocatively posed burritos and cheese puns, right?

  79. I am glad to see that some companies still have moral values and stick to them. Committing to something like this only further justifies why I continue to make purchases through EAT24. Especially in today’s world with Facebook being something everyone visits regularly and is considered a way to connect and fit in with the world, sticking to your morals and principles seems to be lost and forgotten in this day and age.

  80. It is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the excellent work.

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  81. Monday night. Yes, you read that right. Eat24, the company that is always telling customers to Like our page, post on our wall, and ask us for coupons on Facebook… is deleting its Facebook. This is real.

  82. We’d love to say “It’s not you, it’s us” but it’s totally you. Not to be rude, but you aren’t the smart, funny social network we fell in love with several years back. You’ve changed. A lot.

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