The holidays are full of so many special memories. Like your uncle having one too many glasses of eggnog and telling your cousin that Santa’s a real big jerk. Or that time you mistook poison oak for mistletoe and caused an outbreak of kissing related rashes at your company’s holiday party. But stay strong friends. The holidays are almost over and we can all look forward to our New Years resolution of never doing dishes by ordering pizza delivery every night, because pizzas are really just edible plates (think about it).

To help you get through the season of wrapping paper cuts and yuletide cheer, we’re going to stuff your stocking and make your Hanukkah gelt shine brighter than 10,000 stars with Eat24 Holiday e-Cards. We’ve even made them super convenient no matter what you celebrate.

Like the idea of Christmas, but too afraid to actually say “Merry Christmas” because you might offend the one person who believes Santa is actually an ancient alien bent on world destruction? No problem. We came up with at least 10 other alternatively offensive things.

Can’t show your face in public after the office holiday party? Thanks to Eat24, you don’t have to. Order in. Save face.

Bow chicka wow the holidays are hungry work.

You can’t smoke the wreath, the tree, or the mistletoe. Seriously. Don’t make me call the fire department again.

‘Tis the season for family meals, and the agonizingly uncomfortable interludes between those meals.

‘Tis the season for elevated blood pressure. Keep calm & have some Figgy Pudding (AKA whiskey).

Now let’s say you love Christmas and you’re not afraid to shout it from the rooftops. We got you covered too.

Santa’s gonna bust a cap in your @$$ if you don’t make with the milk and cookies. 

This holiday, take matters into your own hands. Hooves. Whatever. 

Use caution this year when unwrapping Santa’s present.

Do you or a loved one that loves lighting candles, spinning tops and sharing stale chocolate in foil wrappers? Well we got just the thing for you or your Jewish friends.

 Happy Chanukah. Or is it Hanukkah. Whatever. Happy Jewish Christmas.

This Hanukkah, bring home all the boys and girls. Just try not to get arrested again.

And of course who could forget the celebration of another year going away forever. What better way to bring in the 2013 New Year Baby by saying go home 2012, you’re drunk.

May you not remember the start to this wonderful year.

But hold on one second. You’re thinking, hey Eat24, that’s great and all but what about me? I’ve been extra naughty this year and you’re not going to give me anything? Well hold onto your candy canes, we’re giving you free chicken wings just by clicking this little linky link here.

Happy Freakin’ Holidays from your friends in food at Eat24.