Some people call us the TMZ of food. Well, actually no one has ever called us that, but they’re probably about to. That’s because we’re full of exclusive gossip and we aren’t afraid to spread it like peanut butter. Or Nutella. Or cream cheese. Anyway, you get the point, so here’s the latest news from the rumor mill.

Ham & Cheese Split Up
After countless decades together, Ham and Cheese are allegedly seeing other people. Multiple sources reported seeing ham canoodling with a slice of turkey over the weekend, while cheese was spotted looking more than cozy with a bowl of macaroni.

Friends close to Ham and Cheese say they saw the breakup coming for a long time. The power couple was known for being extremely busy, sometimes working from breakfast to lunch to dinner to midnight snack time, all to keep a hungry public happy. Ham and Cheese declined to publicly comment on the split but a publicist said the two plan to remain friends and “are totally fine to continue working together professionally.” Translation: Sandwich fans have nothing to worry about.

Noodles Start Twitter War With Rice

Noodles is in hot water after unleashing a series of nasty tweets aimed at starch nemesis Rice. It’s unclear what started the feud, but Noodles Twitter feed suddenly shifted on Monday morning, going from a lighthearted conversation about younger brother Couscous, to extreme anger at his long time rival.

Rice, who is most famous for his supporting roles in “Stir-Fry”, the cross-over success “Risotto” and the smash hit “Fried Rice,” is known for his calm demeanor. He did not reply to Noodles’ tweets directly, but instead sent out several ambiguous tweets that appeared to be referring to Noodles.

Both Rice and Noodles declined to comment further on the incident, so stay tuned to Twitter for any updates on the developing drama.

Chicken in Gravy Rehab

Chicken, best known for her performance in What Your Aunt Laura Made For Dinner Last Sunday, has reportedly checked herself into gravy rehab. While Chicken has always dabbled in gravy, her agent said that the star poultry recently spiraled out of control after attending an all-night, gravy-fueled singles mixer. “One ladle led to another and next thing she knew, she was cut off and kicked out by a bouncer,” the agent said. Chicken hopes to be out in time to collaborate with Nuggets on an upcoming project slated for summer.

Bacon’s sexy beach pics

It’s only February but Bacon put on quite the show last week when our photographers spotted him strutting around Hawaii looking trim and tone. While vicious weight-gain rumors have plagued Bacon for years, this exclusive beach photo leaves no doubt that Bacon is looking better than ever. Bacon is set to star in the tasty thriller “The Bacon Ultimatum”.

Cheeseburger Has Twins

Finally, a big congratulations to Cheeseburger on the recent addition to her family. The world has been waiting with baited breath for the last 4 years (burger gestation really is the worst) for the new cuties to enter the world. It’s only a matter of time before they rise to the same fame as their mother, or at the very least are juicy and delicious.