13 Vintage Food Ads That Make You Glad You’re Alive Now

Shows like Mad Men make living in the 60s look amazing. There’s unlimited booze at work, smoking on airplanes, and tons of good looking, well-dressed men and women to have affairs with. And while all that is keen and “cool beans,” what isn’t “neat daddy-o” is the junk that passed for food back then.

We’re glad that we live in a world where tacos are on demand, you’re never a Wi-Fi connection away from hot pizza, and you can get sushi from your mobile device.

Just in case you weren’t convinced take a look at these 13 ads that prove that food now was way better than food then.


13. Desserts Were Made Out of Prunes, Raisins and Salad. 

Raisin Vintage Ad

You take a bite and you slowly realize that’s not a chocolate chip, but a raisin. Your world is destroyed.

Jello Vintage Ad

You might hate Aunt Martha’s Jell-O Ambrosia, but that’s nothing compared to the crazy person who brings a Jell-O mold filled with salad.

Vintage Raisin Ad Creep

Warning, eating too many raisins has extremely creepy results.

12. Adults Ate Like Broke College Kids


It doesn’t matter how elegant your dinner plate is or what you garnish it with, that’s still food for five year olds.

11. It Was Hard to Tell What Was Dog Food and What Was Human Food

You know what’s great about the name Kibble N’ Bits? The word kibble eliminates any chance of us wanting to eat it. If you name your dog food burger, there’s a pretty good chance, we will attempt to slap it on a grill with some pepper jack.

10. Canned Meat Was Considered Normal

         Spam Vintage Ad

OK, Spam. You get a pass for musubi, but ribs? In a can?

9. People Did Crazy Things to Pizza

      Asian Pizza Vintage Ad   German Pizza Vintage Ad   Vintage Pizza Ad

“Hey honey, what kinda pizza are you making tonight?”

“Oh you’re favorite sweetie. It’s pizza dough, tomato sauce, and powdered cheese.”

“What a doll you are. Now let’s go share a malted and sleep in separate beds.”

8. Adults Were Encouraged to Eat Baby Food

Vintage Baby Food Ad

We like soft foods as much as the next person, but when it comes to a choice between a steak and strained squash, we’re going meat every time.

7. Mascots Were Incredibly Creepy (And A Little Pushy)

When people think of advertising mascots from this era they think of classic friendly creatures like Charlie the Tuna and Snap, Crackle, and Pop. You never hear about these nightmarish creatures.

Vintage Peanut Ad


Before people embraced peanuts wearing monocles and top hats, they had this psychopathic ginger peanut to deal with.

Frosted Flakes Vintage Ad

“Eat up Timmy, otherwise I’ll eat your freakin’ soul.”

Potato Vintage Ad

We were told to never listen to things that grow in dirt.

Cambells Vintage Ad

How about this rosy cheeked panic attack?

Rolo Vintage Ad

Rolo the kid was really mean to anyone who didn’t approve of caramel.

Northern Vintage Ads

And finally, please use Northern Towels. Before he hurts Mommy again.

6. Kids were encouraged to be “husky”

Oatmeal Vintage Ad

I’m pretty sure we once called someone husky, and said person slapped us across said faces.

5. Wheat Germ was considered sexy

Wheat Germ Vintage Ad 1

When you think of trendy food today you might think coconut water, quinoa, and kale. But back in the day, the hottest and hippest people ate… wheat germ?

4. Mayonnaise was used for everything including desserts

Jello Mayo Vintage Ad       Jello Mayo Vintage Ad 2

Not so subtle. So-o-o disgusting.

3. They had food from the future, but it was wack.

Liquid Steak Vintage Ad              Space Food Sticks Vintage Ads

We’re big supporters of Space food, but until it looks actually edible, we’ll stick with out take-out and microwave bacon.

2. Kids Didn’t Have Candy; They Had Yams Sponsored By Rodents 

Yam Vintage ad 2        yam vintage ads

1. People fell in love with syrup

People fell in love with syrup

We like pancakes but we don’t like-like pancakes.

… But At Least They Had An Appreciation For Bacon


Bacon Vintage Ad

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